Refresher on the Rules for Fair and Balanced Israel-Bashing

Recently, I came across an interesting post, apparently written by a Karen squatting on stolen Aboriginal land in a colonial state founded on violence. Here it is:

I’d like to offer a refresher on the Other Rules for criticizing Israel:

Rule 1: Israel’s right to exist must remain uniquely negotiable. The fact that no other nation has to constantly justify its existence to the world is irrelevant. However, if you believe Israel’s existence as a state is non-negotiable, and has the same right to secure borders as anyone else, you’re now a brainwashed, unthinking "Zionist cheerleader."

Rule 2: Only Jews are assigned intent and presumed to act with malice aforethought. Other nations commit "mistakes," "miscalculations," or "tragic accidents." But when Jews act, it must be assumed to be orchestrated with full mens rea - planned, malicious, uniquely sinister and criminal culpable.

Rule 3: Moral judgment must be reserved exclusively for Israel. Daily terror, open incitement, and years of violence by its enemies are considered politically dull, outdated, or contextually justified. But the moment Israel retaliates, that becomes a global ethical crisis worthy of op-eds, panels, and emergency UN sessions.

Rule 4: Context is prohibited until Israel responds. Everything before (massacres, rocket fire, open calls for genocide) must be erased. The moral clock starts ticking only when Israel takes action. That’s when outrage becomes mandatory.

Rule 5: References to Israel's repeated peace offers must be scrubbed from memory. That these proposals were consistently rejected, often violently, undermines the clean narrative of Israel as the eternal aggressor. Anyone who brings it up risks immediate classification as a propagandist or Zionist operative.

Rule 6: Self-defense is an unalienable right for every nation. Unless that nation is Israel. Then it’s aggression, colonialism, and a war crime.

Rule 7: Criticism of Israel is always "legitimate," even when parroting literal neo-Nazi talking points. But criticizing those critics is pure censorship and malicious deflection.

Rule 8: When Israel is demonized with grotesque caricatures straight from medieval antisemitism, that's just free speech. If Jews call it antisemitic, they're cynically "weaponizing" history.

Rule 9: Israel must be held to an impossibly high moral standard. Nations like Russia, Iran, or Syria, however, deserve our emphatic understanding because their situational circumstances are "nuanced." Unless you're talking about Israel, in which case it's black and white, and always Israel's fault.

Rule 10: Israelis are never true victims. Even murdered babies and kidnapped elderly are just pawns exploited by clever Zionist propagandists.

Rule 11: Palestinian leadership's repeated rejection of peace and explicit calls for genocide must always be minimized or ignored. Mentioning this would unfairly complicate the narrative.

Rule 12: The media must always be accused of pro-Israel bias, no matter how consistently and disproportionately it leads with images of rubble and casualty counts to criticize Israel, or parrots enemy casualty claims without verification. If you point out this double standard, you're clearly a paid part of the Hasbara machine.

Rule 13: Unverified claims against Israel must be reported instantly as fact, while documented atrocities committed by Israel’s enemies should be downplayed as "allegations" by "Israeli sources."

Rule 14: The US government is independent and principled when dealing with the Middle East: selling weapons to the Saudis to balance trade or cutting deals with the Qataris to bolster regional alliances. But when it supports Israel, it’s compromised, corrupt, and controlled by mysterious "lobbies" and sinister "influences".

Rule 15: Israel’s democratic institutions and freedoms are irrelevant. Its vibrant political debate, regular elections, diverse parliament, and independent judiciary must never distract from the comforting fiction of an oppressive apartheid state.

Rule 16: Israeli self-criticism must be conveniently ignored. Acknowledging that Israelis themselves are often their government's sharpest critics would ruin the narrative. The fact that you cannot point to such robust internal debate anywhere else in the Middle East should remain quietly unspoken.

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Now, alas, the list appears to be complete.